Christmas in April!

Borg

Just like mine…

Today was a good day, for so many reasons. Gene surprised me this morning with a Blue Tooth headset, since I just got a new phone and was terrified of dropping it. (Free to upgrade, outrageously expensive to replace…) I also can’t hold it up to my ear for longer than a few minutes anymore, and lord knows you need to block off some time for a conversation with Bess Bess… At any rate, now I can happily ramble around the yard while yakking on the phone, hands free! I’m still a little embarrassed to wear it out in public, and when my friend noticed it on our daily dog walk, I just sorrowfully shook my head and said, “I’m more machine than man now.” And since I’ve gotten into the habit of bellowing “ANSWER IT” in my best Mortal Kombat voice, maybe I’ll just wear it inside the house.

But that wasn’t even the best thing. No, that came when I checked my email and discovered my latest can’t-possibly-live-without acquisition is arriving via UPS tomorrow! Now that Luigi the crab has passed on, our huge tank is crabless. Normally that’s a good thing to be, but in this case it’s a waste of 75 gallons. When I was looking up what kind of crustacean to get next, I stumbled upon the “Underwater Atlantis”, which is basically a bio-dome that creates a  dry space on the bottom of a fish tank. And the best part – it comes with a feeding tube, so you can drop live crickets in! Naturally I ordered the Cadillac model, although personally I would have called it The Crabitat. I’m already decorating it in my head…and sourcing out some occupants. Gene didn’t even say no to a turtle!

And as if DSC02968that wasn’t enough excitement around here, I found a bird’s nest when I went to plant this year’s fuscia in the hanging baskets. Since we weren’t positive if it was a new nest or not, I carefully took it out, potted everything, then put the nest back. It’s quite a nice, festive nest, lined entirely in German Shepherd hair. (If I’d known a mama bird was in the market for some fur, I would have invited her inside to harvest our couch). At any rate, this morning when I went to carefully water the side of the basket the flowers are on, mama flew right at my face. I think I need to get a watering can with a longer spout…

Other than that, the only other magical thing that’s new this week is sitting on my kitchen window sill, in the form of a couple of potted orchids from the clearance bin at the grocery (granted, it’s not where all the other connoisseurs get their orchids from, but you have to start somewhere.) I got the first one a week ago, a gorgeous white one, for $3.99. On the way back we stopped and got her some proper orchid soil and a nice pot, only to get home and discover that if you re-pot them prematurely, they get “resentful”. That’s the exact word the Internet used. DSC02989Thank goodness I looked it up first, since the last thing I need is a grumpy, ungrateful houseplant. I can’t find a definitive answer for how you know they want to be re-potted, so I’m hoping they wave a sign. Then yesterday, on my way to the beer aisle, I happened to spot one last remaining orchid in the bin, now marked down to 99 cents. And if ever there was a resentful orchid… he did not look happy. But I took him home (yes, he’s a guy), soaked him and his pot in some water, trimmed all the dead blossoms off, and he perked right up. I’m hoping this is my first step towards becoming an orchid farmer…

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